I don’t have it all together

Today, my relationship with my future wife ended. It was not on good terms. It was amicable. But the reason that it was over is because I screwed up.

I love hard. And because I love hard, I have a tendency to smother. I have a tendency to throw 100% in from jump street. and At the beginning, she was throwing 100% in, too. Then, the time came and she left to pursue a degree.

When she first arrive, I was the only person she talked to. I tried to maintain the full force of an “in person” relationship via correspondence, and it was working. Until she started getting friends. Suddenly, I was less a part of her life. Then, still lesser. Then, still lesser.

I interpreted that as rejection and abandonment. As a sign that something was wrong with our relationship.